Friday, July 25, 2008 Y 22:29
I find that I am useless and foolish sometimes and even stupid. Giving myself too much stress and I just can't control myself. Having high expectation about myself? I am not sure But 1 thing I am going to confirm is that, my art sucks!! Tis is really like my sixth time saying it, I had tried means to improve it but its just turn from bad to worse. Thought that after dying my cloth, everything will be fine but I am just so wrong! I can't draw, colour , shade! I am just a nobody in art, its like 2 days to prelim le, art prelim is coming up but I am not prepared and I doubt I will take the exam of art in prelim. Everything is not done, insufficient time and all. No matter what, I am just going to try and hope everything gonna be alright, good luck to me ba. Feeling unsatisfy and disappointed now, need to be by my own now. Locked myself in the room now, closing my eyes and trying to relax and think. Due to this situation, misunderstanding happened between me and jyothi, I really knew that you are kidding and knows that you cares for me. of course, i will not be angry with you la, its just my art. dun;'t think until so far ok??=plove u!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008 Y 11:23
Today supposed to attend school, but despondent,cI had rashes all over my body. So itchy that I scratch non-stop till some parts were bleeding. But eventually it is better now. Hubby is on Mc and I also absent, Honey must be so bored right!! EMO!!=) Don't miss me ok, I will be back tomorrow de. I am so irritated as today we had Chemistry test, I studied very hard yesterday and are ready for it. But now the stupid dump rashes make me waste my effort!!=( I am rotting at home, Nothing to do, So boring la!! Wanted to study but do not have the mood as I always study only at night. Haix, Wanted to open my cloth but when I took it out, I am lazy to do it!!
My mum asked me to consult a doctor for my rashes but I know that my rashes cannot be cure as it is just sensitive skin. So did not want the $$ to go to waste. Give a parent letter then, as it will save cost!!=p I am saving $$ nw as I am going to be broke soon. Just change my phone to Z770i and had come out $120 for it as I feel so bad when I always change phone and my dad is the one who pay for it. Its not fair for him. Nowadays I will always spare a thought for my love ones as I really love them!! W/out you ppl, I am nothing. haha.
Hope I would not miss out alot today, tomorrow having Eng P1 and Chem p4!! EXAMS AND EXAMS, I AM FREAKING OUT!! CRAZY LA SIA, MY BRAIN IS CRACKING!! I must study very hard to get all the things in le, jia you and hope my brain will not break into halves ba.=p
Monday, July 14, 2008 Y 19:36
Yesterday, Maia,Cherin, Kuei lee , Ky and me went to alexandra hospital to visit Jyo. We suppose to buy her gifts but the shop was closed on Sunday. We were all so disappointed then headed up to lvl 2. Went to the ward that jyo is in. I was very worried as she looked really pale and sick. We sit down and listen to all her stories and happenings inside the hospital. I feel that she is so poor thing man, feeling sad for her. She told us that she were be admitted for about 1 week, Misses her!!=( The boring her did not want to stay in the room so we took a stroll at the park. In between, Maia, Cherin and me will all feeling naseous! Cherin and I having low blood, I blackout 3 times, ALL I see is BLACK!! I afraid I would faint, Cherin also she was also unstable and almost vomitted. Maia then feel that too. It is because of the ward, it was really stuffy inside. Hope you all had recover ba. I am fine le, Maia say my face was so pale like I just seen a ghost!!=) Soon it was about time for us to make our way home, Jyothi sent us down till the carpark there. WE all shook hands with her and had hugged her. But I start to feel a sense of loss and loneliness as we are always together in school. Monday will be so boring w/out her. I had no one to disturb and I am not use to it. All of this jus happen like that. After all this thinking, I then break down into tears, I called upon her and cried in her arms. She felt sorry and all. But I really misses a friend like you!=( While she walked back to her ward slowly, we turned our head back and saw her lonely backview. I was so disheartened and the backview is still in my mind now. This is the first time I had such a strong feeling towards friends, this shows the importance of friendship. Thanks friends for making my life so wonderful, Love ur always. Anyway Jyo had been discharge le and was vibrant when I heard this news. Cya Jyo tomorrow in school for ur listening comprehension. Gd luck EVERYONE!!!A few words to JYOTHI: Hi habird, Must eat regularly, have enough rest, Not to be too stress. Come to me if you need any help on schoolwork, Must eat medicine ok althought is alot . Hope you would recover soon. Really I miss you, looking forward to see you in school tomorrow. Now then I know how important friends are. Will cherish every single one 0f you. Don't say that I waste my tears, I think that all is worth it for you!!=p Didn't manage to get any gifts for you but we really hope you could take care ok?? loves u so much and dun skip meals le hor!!=)
Friday, July 11, 2008 Y 23:10
Hi this few days I am feeling devastated, downheartened. I had lost confidence in myself and I tend to Cry easily. Didn't know what had happen to me but I just feel that I am such a failure. As there is no more hope in my art grades as I cannot even draw well! I get A2 last year is because of my cloth but was told by Mr sham that my cloth will end up having breaklines. The worried me then just break down into tears. I hugged jyo and had wet her carli... Thanks jyo for lending me a hug!! This all happen on Thursday.
But till today, I am still worried, I want to faster dye my cloth so that there will be less stress for me. Whenever I try to work on my prepartory work, I will feel that " I don't know how to draw, My drawing is Ugly and had a feeling of giving up." But there is always another part of me that urged me to go on. Now, I cried almost everyday, because of art, stress, Os, prelims! It is just like TOO MUCh!! Especially art, 3 more weeks and Mr sham is going to leave. Lots of work must to be done and hand in. I struggled throught every day and night for Art but nothing just tur out right for me. I really hope time could stop.What I draw, I then tear it away as it is really not up to standard.
SPIDERS is making me freak out, Its difficult to colour and develop. Sometimes I thought, I had no talents in ART. Why is this so unfair, Life is never fair thats what I know but I am just jealous and hope I could have such talents so that I will not struggle. But its just seems impossible for me. Art is never a thing that I could handle, I tried very hard to improve myself, again and again but it jus not what I wanted. I aimed a B3 but I think its ridiculous to get it. regret is too late, so I will just try my very best and get it done. I will make sure I could handle it and at least get a B3. No matter what challenges I am going to face, I will just overcome it. I am motivated and will put in lots of effort in it. I vowed that I will never do things by half and give up. I will work hard for it!so friends don't worry about me, I am fine and thanks for consoling me!! Tomorrow, I am dying my cloth, hope everything will be alright ba!!
Tags replied:
Maia ( honey): Ya thanks, I cry because I am disappointed with myself. But now I am fine le will approach you if I need any of your help. Really thanks and hope your leg will be better.
Jyothi: haha now then you know. Nowadays can see that you are really tired so I am telling you this. Studies, work, health which is more important? Health rite, so you better take care of yourself, make sure you had enough sleep EVERYDAY!! If not you will get sick easily OK? Habird??
CheeKiat: Thanks for the consoling. I am better le, and I watched show le. Its really touching, I cried till my eyes very red!!=p Can feel the effort that he made is alot.
Sunday, July 6, 2008 Y 15:28
Hi readers, do you miss me haha is like so long I last updated my blog!! Sorry as I am studying this few days, school work is alot.=( K on saturday, I was at home all the way till six. Its kind of monotonous, not much things to do at home. Only watch tv, eat, slp, walk around and tats all so bore. Wanted to go for a jog but was lazy so called ppl out to have a basketball workout. Ended up, all were unable to make it except Kuan yen. So went with her to senja basketball court. We played ABC and a match, the match was fun and a good one. Our score is 5 VS 4 and I won!!=P Soon, we decided to take a rest and headed to the shelter there. while we were talking, Jyo suddenly shouted so loud from her mum's lorry! " YANTENG BYE! WIFEY BYE!" KY and I were so stunned. for that moment, I really thought which berserk woman is shouting and how the berserk woman know my name?=) Anyway her shouting really make my day. After a good rest, we headed home. Done my Geo assignments and some of my maths papers. I thinks tats all ba!!=p AT Friday, went to shool as usual till 12 30. In art lesson, I supposed to dye my cloth. So I was so contented. Boiling the water and tieing the knots. But when I consult Mr Sham, He said I never pull properly and really make me panic alot. I then started weeping as I am terrified that anything bad will happened to my cloth.After all, I am alright as he told me to wait for it to dry, it will be perfectly fine. Thanks eveyone for telling me not to cry, I really feel much more better.=p Went to play basketball again at around 4-5 plus with ciyun, Jyo, Ky , Yong da, Maia and etc. We have a game of 3 vs 3. Jyo, ci yun and me were always jumping high to catch the ball. But I am too short so difficult to do it. So I will run veri fast and try to snatch the ball frm ppl. HAHA there were alot of people who kana injured. JYO being stepped by Yong DA. KY being beaten by Jyo ball. I can be the worst ba, I kana elbowed by Ciyun and bang together with Jyo then I fell with a cut on my left knee. So sad right hope we all will recover soon ba. Take care ok!!!=p Hubby was so guilty as she injured Ky and me but don't worry , we will not blame you.As we knew that it was all accidentally de so will forgive and forget!!=pDon't think too much OK? LOve Ya!! 
